How I missed my writing
This was one of the time, when I was thinking what to do with all the time I suddenly seem to have in this new sem, when I fumbled on my previous blog. And in a second, all those memories from the past came rushing back to me. I suddenly remembered how I used to enjoy writing about various stuff-- turn a bit philosophical or just crib about my mundane life. Without sounding too cloy , can I say I felt all my energy being returned to me. To just link my previous blog with this new one, I am pasting some of the entries in this blog and provide me with the bliss of some past memories :) . Somehow I could not stop smiling to myself and I dont remember, when was the last time I was so happy.
Here it goes ...
It all started when my cousin bought his new cell phone which can take pics along with many other functions.Man, i was totally impressed ,not by the cell phone or the fact that my brotther is possessing one.But by the fact that world around is changing damn too fast.Anyways i decided to learn all its functions. And he clicked my pic to explain me the process. Nemesis fell on that moment , when i had a glance at that pic of mine, for what i saw on the screen appeared least like me. Why, i see myself everyday in the mirror and i am damn confident about the way i look. That was not me , what all crap things these people in production business are launching and fooling people around.Anyways i decided to compare my image in the mirror to the one on mobile screen . To my dismay , i found that both the images were exactly the same. How come this is possible ? For all these years this devilish mirror has been decieving me ,always projecting the feign image Making me believe that i am actually much more beautiful and smart then what i actually am. Curse fell on that mirror !I felt i have been cheated out by life ,i felt betrayed ,some mysterious powers in the world were conniving against me Then i thought ,was it actually the mirror or was it was me , who failed to see my actual self.Though it was hard to accept , but it was ME. I realised how conveniently i was only seeing what i liked and ignoring the details i hated to see ;that too for years. The image i was seeing was the image i wished to see .Striking it deep , i realised it was not just the mirror and my virtual image ,but it was actually me and my image in the world.( How do i percieve myself in my working space and the world in general). I was completely turning a blind eye to all the flaws in my character, to all my follies . Just pleasing myself basking about the few qualities i have( i wouldnt say good qualities, for what is good to me ,may not be good to others). GOD ,it feel pathetic and miserable being decieved by your ownself . I mean you can always expect to be cheated by all those bastards in the world but you cannot really help when you yourself turn out to be one of those bastards one fine day.Its is not that i expect myself that i should be MISS PERFECT or something ,but then i should be aware of all the facade of my character. I should be able to replace bad by good and if i am lousy enough to do that i should be able to accept myself as i am without an iota of shame or pain. For the end of the day i am not a student or a daughter or a friend , i am a human being with a soul with a definite purpose.
Here it goes ...
It all started when my cousin bought his new cell phone which can take pics along with many other functions.Man, i was totally impressed ,not by the cell phone or the fact that my brotther is possessing one.But by the fact that world around is changing damn too fast.Anyways i decided to learn all its functions. And he clicked my pic to explain me the process. Nemesis fell on that moment , when i had a glance at that pic of mine, for what i saw on the screen appeared least like me. Why, i see myself everyday in the mirror and i am damn confident about the way i look. That was not me , what all crap things these people in production business are launching and fooling people around.Anyways i decided to compare my image in the mirror to the one on mobile screen . To my dismay , i found that both the images were exactly the same. How come this is possible ? For all these years this devilish mirror has been decieving me ,always projecting the feign image Making me believe that i am actually much more beautiful and smart then what i actually am. Curse fell on that mirror !I felt i have been cheated out by life ,i felt betrayed ,some mysterious powers in the world were conniving against me Then i thought ,was it actually the mirror or was it was me , who failed to see my actual self.Though it was hard to accept , but it was ME. I realised how conveniently i was only seeing what i liked and ignoring the details i hated to see ;that too for years. The image i was seeing was the image i wished to see .Striking it deep , i realised it was not just the mirror and my virtual image ,but it was actually me and my image in the world.( How do i percieve myself in my working space and the world in general). I was completely turning a blind eye to all the flaws in my character, to all my follies . Just pleasing myself basking about the few qualities i have( i wouldnt say good qualities, for what is good to me ,may not be good to others). GOD ,it feel pathetic and miserable being decieved by your ownself . I mean you can always expect to be cheated by all those bastards in the world but you cannot really help when you yourself turn out to be one of those bastards one fine day.Its is not that i expect myself that i should be MISS PERFECT or something ,but then i should be aware of all the facade of my character. I should be able to replace bad by good and if i am lousy enough to do that i should be able to accept myself as i am without an iota of shame or pain. For the end of the day i am not a student or a daughter or a friend , i am a human being with a soul with a definite purpose.
posted by Neha Garg at 1/12/2007 04:44:00 PM
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